My marriage…With Teju Babyface – Punch Newspapers
How did you meet your wife?
I met my wife first in 2009. My friend, Bunmi Davies, and I were auditioning ladies to be ushers for a show. Many beautiful model type ladies came for the audition, as expected in an audition for models and ushers. My girlfriend at the time accompanied me to the audition so I couldn’t talk to any girl. Despite this limitation, there was a particular girl, who, as far as I was concerned, was the most beautiful girl in the room. I found a way to escape from my girlfriend and talked to her. I talked to her about the payment for the audition but she didn’t accept the amount and convinced other ladies too. They left.
When did you know that you would end up getting married to her?
After our first meeting in 2009, I saw her at a couple of other events. It was in 2011 that I finally knew I would marry her. I had broken up with the person I was going to marry at the time and a series of events led to me knowing that she was the one. The watershed moment for me was when I was talking to her over the phone and she chastised me for being with a couple of girls. She said I was supposed to be a role model, upstanding and disciplined and not running around with many girls. This made me realise she was the one for me because no one had spoken or dared to speak to me like that.
What event made your wedding day memorable?
My wedding day was a blur to me, it was a bittersweet day, thankfully, it was more sweet than bitter. The bitter part was that my father died nine months earlier and that was painful. I also remember that they weren’t able to confirm if Pastor Sam Adeyemi would attend my wedding until that morning. When I got to church and saw him, I hugged him and almost burst into tears because everything about my father not being at the wedding almost came crashing in. The sweet part of it was looking at the beautiful woman I was going to marry, thinking of the mistake I almost made, and the clarity that she was the woman for me.
How has the marital journey been?
From when I was a child, I always knew that I was unique. What I didn’t know was the unique journey I had to go through to become the person God wants me to be. The last nine years of my marriage have been the years I went through a process of reinvention in life and career. Every day, it occurs to me that no woman I had intended to marry would have been able to go through the travails and trials that we have been through, considering that we didn’t have children until after six years.
The marital journey has been beautiful and instructive and it has brought me to a place of continual and eternal gratitude to God because I realised how close I was to making a mistake. It has been a blessed journey, we got twins, a boy and a girl three years ago.
How have you been able to balance your career and home?
There’s something, even when I was single and I was supposed to be a ladies man who was all over the place, I always went back home after every event was over. I always enjoyed my own company. I got the trait from my father who was a “homebody.” This has gone with me into marriage and with the sense of responsibility to my wife and children, I understand that it is an infidel that would not take care of his home. Charity begins at home. It is not a tough balance for me.
What has been the best part of your marriage so far?
It is my realisation every other day that I could have made a mistake in marriage. I must put a caveat now for those who know the persons I almost married, this is not an indictment on the character of those people, it was just a mutual thing that we were not meant for each other. It also does not mean they were bad people, it just meant we were bad for each other. We were created differently though attracted by chemicals and possibly by pulchritude. It was the mercy and wisdom of God that allowed not only me but the other persons from walking into a marriage where we would have been incompatible. The uniqueness of the strength of my wife has been able to make her bear up under resistance and burdens that others might not have been able to bear. Her strength of character and gentle spirit, and the fact that I married a beautiful woman are things I am grateful for.
What’s your advice to young people planning to marry?
If I had to give only a piece of advice, I would put it down to what King Solomon says in the book of Proverbs 31 in the last couple of three verses. It says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord should be honoured above all.” Don’t marry for beauty alone and don’t marry for character alone. You can look at my wife and say I married a beautiful woman, don’t get me wrong.
There is a reason you are attracted to the people you are attracted to, God made you that way. If you like a certain type of girl or guy, don’t give that up because they told you not to marry for beauty. It might take a while to find them but you need to find a balance between who you want to marry and who you need to marry. Also, have trusted marriage counsellors and take advice. For me, I had a dozen, my father, mentors and the books I read among others helped me.