I am in my mid 30’s ,got married to this man in his mid 40’s who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn’t interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn’t in my mid 30’s and if I hadn’t done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won’t have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.
Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don’t get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn’t have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??
I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.
Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn’t taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn’t have children he won’t have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won’t have married me.
I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn’t moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways.
I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn’t treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it’s not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don’t deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn’t ready on time.
Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man