You’ve probably heard over and over again that pain comes with a purpose, and that life is full of ups and downs. But what no one has probably told you is that pain and suffering are what makes us, and our resistance to them could be why we remain stuck.
There are a plethora of practical ways to try and make you believe this. But first, let me talk about how you might be avoiding pain and suffering. This is usually done by complaining, talking about it, talking about it again, and again. You do this under the guise of just expressing yourself. Whereas you’re almost loading all your feelings on others to bear.
So, how do we mitigate these unpleasant situations as they are happening? Firstly, by recognizing that life itself comes with blows and flows. No matter how much you admire somebody else’s life, envy them or even wish you could swap yours with theirs, they are each bearing their crosses as well. Many of which you might not see with your naked eyes.
Growth and maturity surely come with enduring those few minutes, days, months, and even years of blows. It’s difficult but it’s through this means you’ll continue to sharpen your sword for more to come. But if you tend to escape it, it will continue chasing after you until it catches up with you , in an even more distressing way.
Growing up, I’ve always evaded as much pain and suffering as possible. I believed I didn’t deserve it as I stuck to all the rules in the book. This turned me a bit into a perfectionist because that was my strategy for escaping the difficulties of life. I believed if you suffered then you probably deserved it. Maybe karma?
I also thought being good meant always feeling good and getting good things. Entitled, right? Until my first setback occurred when I couldn’t make it to the university – like my mates – after secondary school. I thought: why me? How come? But I was good to go. How I wailed and sulked and played the victim was overwhelming, both for me and my family members. Yet, I finally got into the university and different setbacks and challenges kept coming.
I kept running. But not anymore. I’ve come to understand that pain and suffering require this inexplicable level of determination to help us not to go down with it. It needs you to be strong, tenacious, and stubborn. If not, you’ll cry wolf again and revert to your escape-avoidant routes, which will always lead you back to the vicious cycle. So why not face your demons now? Be self-aware. Accept the hardships that come and deal with them through exercising patience.
The second thing you must know is that you have to understand that joy will always come in the morning. The pain and suffering won’t last an eternity. At some point, it gets better, and you gain some momentum, the stamina to navigate through and slowly get out of that hell hole.
The other thing, which is cliche but very noteworthy, is that the pain and suffering ultimately serve a purpose. Sometimes, if you had to suffer for the sake of it, that qualifies you as humane, because who lives without a fight, setback, or failed attempts here and there? Pain and suffering come to make you stronger. They equip you with the arsenal to fight bigger demons in the future. Pain and suffering are a necessity to help tighten your heart when your head needs to function the most. They are there to free your spirit to receive your rewards too.
Pain and suffering are necessary evils when they arise. Most times it’s a sign something positive is lurking in the corner. Other times, it’s there to teach you a lesson. Whatever it is, embracing it is a good quality of being human, alongside achieving growth and maturity, among other toolkits for navigating this unstable life.
This is not to uphold the need to create pain and suffering unnecessarily for oneself, but rather to be open to them as a natural byproduct of living and understand that resisting them will make things far worse in the long run.
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